I never made what would classically be defined as a suicide attempt. My
sister -- I have a twin sister -- she made several very real suicide
attempts. However, I am familiar with what it feels like to feel
suicidal, to want to die, to not be able to wake up in the morning and
feel like I can't lift up my head, I can't get out of the house today.
What am I going to do?
How long does this go back?
ALLEN: You know, I first started -- since probably 12, 14 years old. I
also started drinking alcohol and using drugs right about the same time.
So for me, that was my first -- my first sort of coping mechanism I
used. And when I finally got sober when I was 24 years old, I finally
felt what it was I was hiding from. First, it was anxiety, which is kind
of the evil twin sister of depression, and then those feelings of
absolute just despair and sorrow, you know, I can't get out of here
today, what am I going to do?